Hello beautiful Womb Keeper!
By the time you read this, it will be the day after Valentine's Day. I have to be honest, I really didn't know if I was going to send an email out or not. The reason is that there are so many mixed emotions associated with this day and as a space holder and Your Guiding Light, I am very aware of the various emotions associated with the topics we focus on. And while I won't always appeal to everyone all the time, I do try my best to make a conscious effort to always come in love and womb wisdom.
So here's the thing: regardless of how you feel about this day there are two energies present, sensuality and sexuality. You are forced to think about how you feel about your love and sex life. For some of you, you are overwhelmed with feelings of love. You think about rose petals, candles, chocolates, flowers, and lots of good sex. For others, you realize just how long it has been since someone has spoiled you with flowers and candy and it's been so long that you've been touched that you have to position your pillows just right just to feel like you're being held, and the last orgasm you've received was given by a silicon, self-guided toy or as I used to call mine, B.O.B (battery operated boyfriend).
Pause- if you're still using a vibrating sex toy, may I introduce you to our Sacral Pleasure Wands? Your "girl" will thank you.
The truth is whether you are aware or not, you are actively moving through the two first pillars of self-love. Beloved, in case no one has told you today, please allow me to be the first: Your relationship with yourself and the love you give yourself will always set the tone for any love and relationship you will ever experience. And that includes sex.
So let's talk about sensuality, sexuality, and the art of SACRED SELF-LOVE.
Make Me Feel Good!
Don't judge me, but when I initially sat down to write this blog, the scene that came to my mind was Halle Berry in Monster's Ball. You know the scene. She's sitting with ol' Billy Bob (ha, Bob lol!) and she is mourning the loss of her son. Although it's clear that she is emotional, she is laughing and joking about her son and his habits. Finally, she breaks down and tells Bob, "make me feel good" while taking off her clothes. He obliges, and they have sex.
In my opinion, that scene highlights what many people do in real life- they use sex as a way to express, suppress, or hide what they are truly feeling. I know it's a fictitious movie, but I don't think those two characters would have ever had sex if not for that emotional experience. In that case, her sensuality impacted her sexuality.
The Key to Great Sex
If you take away nothing else from this entire scroll, remember this: sensuality activates vulnerability. vulnerability creates intimacy, intimacy awakens connection, and connection stimulates great sex.
Let me explain. Sensuality is the enjoyment, expression, or pursuit of physical, especially sexual, pleasure. It's your ability to be present with your current feelings and emotions. When you open yourself up to your emotions, you activate your vulnerability. You're exposed in a sense. That vulnerability is what's needed in order to develop intimacy and connection between you and another individual. And when you're truly connected to a person (mind, body, and/or spirit) you are able to experience the pleasures of sex on a whole different level.
Because life is all about duality, the same can be said in reverse. Have you ever had a sexual encounter with someone that you didn't have a connection with and noticed that it wasn't very pleasurable? You may have achieved the end goal, but it still left you feeling like something was missing. Have you ever used sex as a way to detach from your emotions and escape from your present reality? There is a direct connection between sensuality and sexuality.
So how do you connect with your sensuality? First things first, you have to feel. Allow yourself to drop into your body and be present with who, what, and where you are. That requires you to get out of your head and into your body.
While there is so much that I can say on this topic, I feel that now is a good stopping point. I invite you to really sit with this concept of sensuality, sexuality, and sacred self-love. Ask yourself these questions:
How can you be more aware of your senses in order to create the sex life you desire?
Think about the current state of your sex life. How do you feel about it?
Are you present when you engage in sex or is it a task?
Do you allow yourself to be vulnerable, or are you guarded?
If you desire a resource to help guide you through this exploration, I encourage you to join the Sacred Self-Love program. This pre-recorded program is packed with intentional meditations, visualizations, and as well as womb chats with myself and my soul sister, Leah Pegram. It is self-paced and comes with a private online community to share with women who are moving through the same journey.
And if you would like 1:1 support, I am here as Your Guiding Light and I would love to support you during a Womb Wellness session.
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